The backpack of disappointment

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backpack

In my experience buying things for hypothetical school plans are a waste of time and an exercise in disappointment. I’m really hoping this time will be different. That this time it won’t be a backpack of disappointment. I want a backpack of success this time. I realise that a lot of the time the disappointment has been a self fulfilling prophecy, my own fault, my own loss of enthusiasm or getting overwhelmed by anxiety.

I think that’s why I’ve been so cautious this time round, looking into every available avenue or pathway, it’s been exceedingly confusing but I think I now know the best way to get to where I want to go-not the easiest or quickest way maybe but the most likely for me to succeed at. I don’t like the idea of going back to foundation skills solely due to the fact I’m sure it’ll mostly be 16 year olds and that’s like my worst nightmare (teenagers are mean and judgemental from past experience), but I guess I need to tell myself that I’m there to learn not to hangout with classmates and tough it out. I hope I can do it and not have a freakout. I’m (read me and my mum) going to go along to the open days for both the foundation skills and the high school diploma courses, hopefully they can help me pick the best way to get where I want to. We’ll see I guess. I’m already pretty nervous. Anyway here is the plan for now:
*Foundation skills in areas I need, probably math, biology, chemistry
*High school diploma subjects as needed, again proably math, biology, chemistry and maybe one english
*Apply to Uni, I’m now thinking of apply to 2 Unis-the original one I was looking at and another slightly more prestigious one-both are away from home, I can’t find a uni offering the course I want near home unfortunately
*Once I get that organised then I’ll start looking into exchange or if I want to defer to travel or transfer to an overseas college
*It’s a rather unusual course so exchange opportunities mat be limited-I dunno.

This is probably going to take a while *sigh* I feel like I’m getting further and further behind every year, I sometimes wonder if it’s worth trying at all.

Vanessa

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