Adulting?

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It’s been a crazy few weeks here. I handed in my Biology assignment, after it nearly drove me crazy. I had a strong urge to snatch it back form the teacher immediately after handing it over……..because I felt it needed more work. But my biology assignment obsession made me drop the ball on my other assignment from my english class. Dammit! In the end I asked for an extension, which I was granted, I still feel bad about needing it but the assignment wouldn’t get done otherwise. It’s another assignment type I’ve never done before and as such is causing me some issues and stress. This is the most out of step and behind I’ve felt with school since I started, I’ve been feeling a bit blah just generally and then this feeling that I’m a little bit behind is making me panic and feel even worse. And then exams are coming up in 2 weeks and I feel unprepared and worried. Particularly about bio and math as there are so many things to remember and I want to keep my grade decent. So there’s been a fair bit of stress happening!
Then on top of all that I’ve been discussing with my mum driving back and forth to school when (if?) I get my licence and then also thinking of literally being cold turkey first-time-living-alone in February next year with no safety net (mum will be thousands of kms away) and how that might not be such a great idea. My mum decided that it would be a stellar idea for me to stay in the city where I go to school for 3 days a week-no driving back and forth at night and also living alone road test with a safety net! I wasn’t sure. I’m still not sure. But once my mum decides something that’s usually it, and sure enough by next week we’ll likely be signing a lease. This is both kind of exciting (my own place 3 days a week, buying some house stuff, friend promising to visit and go running) and absolutely terrifying (being alone at night when people are around outside, handling doing *everything* by myself, being lonely), I have no idea how it’ll go. Okay hopefully.

I’m not very good at adulting, I think I fail the ‘functional adult’ test pretty spectacularly (my 17 year old classmates are more independent than me. No seriously), hopefully I can learn otherwise Uni and solo travel look pretty sketchy. I don’t know what I’ll do if I find I can’t function as a normal adult-it will be the death of many hopes and dreams.

Vanessa

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11 thoughts on “Adulting?

  1. Eh, I don’t think there is a such thing as functioning as a normal adult. We are all stressed and think we’re screwing up some way.

    It’s perfectly normal to feel stressed and anxious. Living alone for the first time is a scary thing. But it can be really great once you get used to it.

  2. FiddlerOnTheRoof

    Everything new can be scary at first, stepping away from the family nest especially! It may take a little getting used to, but if thousands of others can do it – so can you! πŸ™‚

  3. I feel the same way. I had been planning to travel around Scotland this summer but the thought of doing so fills me with so much anxiety that I’m not sure if it will happen.

    • Hi Gemma,
      Yeah I know exactly what you mean! But it’s worth it I think. I actually have a friend who wants to travel (tentative, she’s asked me along) and now I have a whole new set of things to worry about, like will I enjoy traveling with her?, will she think I’m weird by the end?, will I end up hating the whole thing? and so on. Anxiety sucks man.

  4. GIRL imagine how awesome it’ll be to have privacy!!! Woohoo!! School can suck the life out of you!! I had forgotten LOL but now it’s in perfect clarity. We’ll get through this together! ❀

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